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As a life coach, I help people make decisions that fit who they truly are and who they want to become
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Thursday, May 28, 2015

Singleness made in Berlin - #1. Or the weirdest question I got asked so far

Being a single woman in Berlin can be fun, weird, scary, interesting, adventurous, weird, challenging, surprising, peculiar, weird, sexy, pleasant, different.

Did I already say that singleness in Berlin can be weird!?

You must be willing to love so much to get your heart broken, be the underdog in a fight to get a fat lip, and in life, willing to go over the edge. The ones that play it safe, in life or in business, will rarely see the other side. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Charles Smith


[The best t-shirt about singleness
Please drop me a line if you find it in Purple!]

And it can be overwhelming too, both in good and bad ways.


So many charming people, so many chances, so many occasions, so many possibilities.
So many unreliable people, so many risks, so many delusions, so many lies.

[Freedom is... well, hopefully not only that]

So much freedom. Too much freedom. 
So much excitement. Too much excitement. 
So much pleasure.  Too much pleasure.

Can pleasure be too much!?
Sometimes it can, if freedom becomes anarchy, excitement becomes novelty seeking addiction and pleasure becomes just a way to forget reality. A new kind of distraction. A new kind of pixie dust. A new kind of game, or actually a very old one. Maybe the oldest one?

Being a single woman in Berlin means having to deal with a huge amount of different men, with different styles, different ways of life, different values and behaviors. Different nationalities, different age ranges, different sexual orientations. 

The hipster. The career-machine. The divorced nice guy. The sad divorced nice guy with children. The sunny surfer (yes, in Berlin! yes, I know)
The party guy. The dance floor king. The snob. The totally shy intellectual. The bike fanatic. The Vegan activist. The music producer. The wannabe actor. 
The German IT guy. The foreigner IT guy who speaks Ruby and C++ but not a word in German. The cool entrepreneur. The tattooed bartender. And so on...

[The Evolution of a Hipster
Image source: CMNSU]

Being a single woman in Berlin means having to deal with questions. A lot of questions. Online and offline.
Most of these questions are always the same, over and over again, with every new guy.

Kind of small talk, like questions about your job, your friends, your favorite club, your family, your flat, your pet, your hobbies.
Questions about your very specific traits of personality and your not so common activities etc. (for example, in my case: my tattoo project, Veganism, my goal to become a coach, wearing only in Purple and Black, the ever-changing color of my hair).

Questions that one can use to approach you and ask you out, like your best holiday. The next movie you want to see. What do you usually drink. Where do you like to eat out. What do you think about being friends with the opposite sex. Your phone number. Bingo.
And then, after a couple of dates... how was your day, sugar? When can I see you again?

[Single, sweetie? Be prepared for questions like:
Who is your hero 
or the most influential person in your life and why?]

Legit, basic, routine-like questions. And yet there are sometimes random unexpected questions. Some of them are just fantastic. Some of them are quite boring. Some of them are frankly scary. Like, really scary. 
And some of them are a difficult enigma. Like...

(drum-roll please!)

What's your favorite vegetable?
Yes, you read it right. What's my favorite vegetable.

I don't know about you, but if I should have a chance to ask someone I just met only three questions, I would never ask something like this. What for? What's the question all about?

Is the guy thinking to be original with such a question?
Is the guy suggesting that, since I am Vegan, I can talk only about stuff like this?

Is the guy planning to buy a special purple vegetables crate just for me, as a romantic present?!
Is the guy hoping to have me cooking for him while using my favorite vegetable as the main ingredient for the recipe?

Is the guy not going to call me again if I should say that my favorite vegetable is broccoli? And what if I should reply pumpkin?

No clue.
But since we are talking about this:
My favorite vegetables are radicchio, celery, cucumber, fennel and iceberg lettuce.
I also love peppers and carrots, but technically they are considered solanaceae and roots. 

[Prickly pears, anyone?
Copyright: NPS photo by Neal Herbert]

Before some guy could ask that too or expect me to prepare a fruit salad for him...
My favorite "mainstream" fruits are nectarine peach, pomegranate, strawberry, watermelon, and cherry.
My favorite exotic fruits are prickly pear, coconut, avocado, banana, and pineapple.
Sorry, but I don't know you well enough to reveal my favorite kind of dried fruit.

How about you? What's your favorite vegetable?
(Just kidding)

This one is for Clem. Even if he didn't ask what's my favorite vegetable, he knows how to be a good friend and he is patient enough to listen to my weird dating stories. And to laugh with me about them.

Tags: Singleness, Being single, Love, Relationships, Dating, Questions, Vegetables, Fruits, People, Quotes

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